Aisophistic

Monday, January 21, 2008, here i go again @ 6:05 PM

i know its been way too long. even i were to string my words, it will never be as exact as what i felt or even went through.

the past few weeks or days as it may seemed, was hectic to me. it was full of ups n downs. actually more to downs. have not been going out. really. its like for weeks and this is going to continue for another 2 weeks perhaps. i vowed to myself not to go out and spent my best time mugging. and when i decided to do so previously, i fell sick. had fever. and asthma attack after the recover of my fever. but now, dont worry, im ok. just with coughing which i believe will end soon. alot of ppl are gettng sick in my class. and my dear nas too. we do have to take care of ourself.

and mrlove is still having fever. for like 2 weeks? i guess we have to find the other way to cure him perhaps? insya-allah. neither common flu or dengue fever after the blood test. so what can it be now? i wonder. jauhilah dier dari perkara2 yg kurang baik. amin.

dance show is coming up. in a few weeks time. and time is once again our enemy. i guess we have to fight for another day other than sat to have our prac.

its happening. i dont noe. it happens to her. it happens to another her again. im just dissapointed in him. how could u. she went thru alot with you, and it was that easy for u. i just hope u dont regret it and realised it when its way too late. all the best to him. and yah gerl, be strong. i noe its not easy, definitely. i can be here when u need me, insya-allah. i love u. =)

people do change. and worst, if a particular someone change without her/him realising that. turned into someone else just because of some heartless beasts in this world. but isnt that a waste? isnt that being unfair to urself. ive seen it, ive been there, ive gone thru it. and now its happening again. its kinda of a cycle. i guess i can only jot down what i felt here. but ultimately the one facing it, will be the person itself. but me as an individual, of course i wont let he/she get hurt and worst, totally chg because of this. its totally absurd. i noe and for sure, its not easy. its never been easy. but how i wish sometimes, i can chg the mentality of ppl. to believe at least, that somehow out there, there must be someone meant for u. that will treat u right. appreciate who you are. im not saying this, mind you just because of i am attached and im so in love or whatever. i noe it has been running in ur mind while i was saying all these. its just me. no matter how down am i and how upset am i, each time i fail. i always believe i will pass it later. maybe its just the way im brought up. it is just inculcated in me that not all is like that. NOT ALL. but yah, everyone has vast opinions and views of things. and i appreciate that. and hope u appreciate mine too, readers. and im not referring to anyone at all. hear that! its just a normal opinion of mine which i just felt like blogging since i just mentioned about it above. i dont want this to happen to my loved ones. but i dont noe, sometimes i just felt outcast by ppls actions and words. and so i just shut. like i say, i can never chg ppl perception of things. what ppl can say is, u will never understand. and somtimes just because of im attached. and why is it so? till now i wonder. why cant my opinions and views be appreciated of who i am, not what i have. see my opinions as a normal human being. i may be happy with my love ones or trying to be positive in any way. but when someone is negative, i cant possibly be negative too right. i need to be postive to lift that person up, but not because im positive as ive found the one. but i noe, its not easy to distinguish that for sure. but i cant help it. it is really happening all around. and wads worst, in some cases, friendships end due to a new found love. how sad right. but its reality, it happens. i love my frens, i do. and i cant afford to lose them.

i think i better stop ranting. i just realised that each time i blog, i would end up with a long entry.
but thats e purpose of blog. a little updates here and there and yah. views and opinions are exchanged through this channel of communication.