Aisophistic

Sunday, November 08, 2009, When two becomes one @ 11:41 PM

I know that it will hell of a night partying with the ladies. And what makes it even better when you party with beautiful ladies of the world. haha. They were 9 of us but when we entered St James, damn it was even hell packed. And it was too packed with Chinese. So practically, we can count how many malays were there.

I had a great time with great music and yes great company. The DJ was rocking it awesomely! I love the way he entertained us with his one liner that makes the crowd goes even wilder! haha. Especially the single ladies part. Beyonce Song, single ladies was played and he said all the single ladies to put your hands up. And the next line he goes, something along the line like, there is not much hands raised, so the guys have to go back as virgins! NICE..... hahahhaha And the hotel room part was also goooood...

The songs he played i would say, thumbs up. It is definitely a night to remember. So when's the next party?

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I can be smiling and laughing my ass off on anything under the sun. But deep inside, I'm questioning whether am i really happy? Lately, I'm not at my best. They are things disturbing me both emotionally and mentally. I find it tough to just stuff it aside and look as if nothing happened to me, but i am a master at that. But i know, it definitely affects me like crazy. I guess i have been bottling up too much and also accommodating to people too much, giving in as always.

Yes, the word accommodating. I guess as humans, especially being around the ones we loved, we tend to take things for granted and subconsciously do things or mention things that we did not realised, we have broke the other party's heart. I know it can be the expectation part of humans that we have to deal with. But to be truly happy, is that too much to ask for?

I know and i stopped expecting. But, what is happening all around me sets me thinking alot. And it lead to making my heart aches each time i think of it. And being me, i always push it aside. Don't ask me how i do it? I have shared with my tip on this, and they said I'm crazy. hahaha.

Hmmm, I know that you have to accommodate to people you love and make them feel comfortable around you.

But, how about me? Did anyone actually stop and think and spare a thought about how tired i am accommodating to people. And it is always me. Always me to understand people. Always me to make the move and voice any concerns. Always me wanting to make things right. But I'm treated that way. I know humans need to be selfish in order to achieve each own form of happiness. And worst, when i tried to tell people about this, either I'm being ignored or making me feel, I'm too paranoid or expect too much. Then if in the case, cz if you don't care, i don't care either. I am really tired. If i no longer care, i really no longer care. Im an EXTREME person, my Bacin Mz knows that very well! haha!

I guess, to sum it up, when I'm least bothered, you will be fucking sorry of what you ask and made me do. And if you don't bother, i am fucking not even bothered an inch! That's the slut for you.