Aisophistic

Friday, February 05, 2010, I learn everytime i bleed @ 10:40 PM

Clearing the dust away.

I miss blogging. This virtual diary of mine which actually will take some time for me to express what i feel at that moment. I guess twitter have outdo blog. That is the reason why i am always updating my twitter and as you can see, it is titled- What am I doing now, so if i don't use twitter always, i would defeat that purpose right?

Okay this is not the time to update about twitter vs blog.

My life so far. So good. Pretty "happening". Like a colleague of mine actually commented, "you have been having crazy weekends sasha". Reminder: I am known as sasha back in office. And i totally agree to the fact that my weekends have been crazy, ups and downs.

Neither did i really expect 23012010 would be the day i said "I do" wholeheartedly and with love, to the love of my life, Mohd Hisham. The only guy that managed to make my heart skip millions beat each time i think of him, like now? haha. Ewww! haha cut the crap aishah! The only guy that "shoot" me that question. The only guy that i said YES to: meaning, i vowed to spent the rest of my life with. That moment, i can never erase it off my mind. Never ever. That precious moment that once again changed my life. I love you boy.

And neither did i expect also that 30012010 would be the day, that changed my life again. I can never forget the pace of my heartbeat. It was super fast. It was so anxious but yet super good feeling. I actually smiled. Sis was the official photographer of the day, and she actually captured every moment. Thanks adek for that! So now both side, mum and dad know of what event is coming up soon. hehe.* winks*

Way beyond what we expected, after a day that changed my family's life, especially my happiest mum and dad, myself and dad ended up in an ambulance in a few hours after the ceremony. And why? Dad was rushed to the hospital. He had chronic asthma attack. He was so fragile and perspiring like never before. With the situation, i panicked till i totally forget the ambulance number and thus, i dialed 999 instead. He was admitted for 3 days at TTSH, and that explains how lethargic i was on monday. I only slept for 3 hours. The next 2 days it was a routine, to and fro the hospital. It was really tiring.

We have been getting guests to visit dad back at home now.

What happened from the day his side came to e day that dad was being admitted, it was really tough for me. I had no one. Really no one. I cant deny i am dissapointed with some people, some remarks that was passed. That's why to me, in times of good, all will crowd around you, in times of bad, all will run away from you. All i can say is to be strong and keep on telling myself to push myself. I know that my dad needs me more than i need myself at that moment.

It have always been me who sent him to the hospital each time he have an attack. And when he was admitted, i hate it. I feel so handicapped without him. I am weak when it comes to my dad. I actually cried in the train. I felt so awkward that he is in the hospital and the 3 of us headed home, without him. That really sucks. And we actually went back in silence. the 3 of us. Dad have always been the limelight of the family for both mum and dad. What i mean by limelight is his character and personality stands out. He is really cheerful and jovial always. So when i see him all so weak on the hospital bed, my heart wrenched with tears.

But what i can say is that i really learnt alot throught this dugaan from HIM. Alhamdullilah, i pulled through. I always tell myself i can =)

I learn everytime i bleed.