Aisophistic

Wednesday, March 02, 2011, Chasing my dream.... @ 8:14 PM

At times, I feel that I expect too much of myself. Its undeniably true that I am one with "achievement oriented" mindset. Till I don't get to achieve what I want, I will feel somewhat lousy or even think lowly of myself. Everyday at work, I will always target myself to finish this and that and have post it notes on my workstation. My desk is forever neat. To prove it, you can ask the close ones around me how organize and systematic I am. I am someone who creates vision out of my capabilities.

I need to start lowering my expectations of myself. In other aspects of dressing up and even needs and wants: I am pretty good at it now. Credits go to the fiance for teaching me that simplicity is indeed the ultimate sophistication. But in terms of other things especially career: I expect too much of myself at times. The sad thing is when I want something badly, I was given the chance and the opportunity but in the end, I don't get it. Yes I know, that's life.

Just wondered why am I challenged this way when it was a sincere intention to give back to the society, but I am not given the chance. Maybe I spoke too soon? Let's see what is installed for me.

On the other hand, at times I feel I am never "bersyukur" with what I have in terms of career. I have a job, as an accounts executive some more! And the bestest thing is that my bosses are very nice (one of the boss gave me priority entry tickets to Far East Movement wired tour this 17th Mar). And that pair of ticket was priority entry meaning, we get to be up-close and personal with them. Lucky me right? And on top of nice bosses and doing something (i used to love accounts), I have very nice colleagues. I think it is undeniably true that working with Dutch people rocks. I gained a lot of general knowledge overseas especially in Amsterdam, The Netherlands. They were kind enough to share their life back then.

They don't shout or stare or exchange sarcasms over the table. They are not as cruel as the local people. I'm sorry to say this but it's fact. Working with Dutch people and the local ones are totally different experience. Try it, then you will know. No wonder someone close who have 5 years experience working with Dutch (although she felt she was underpaid) stays because her boss was so so nice. She was the one who influenced me that working with Dutch is so much better. When I'm this private lawyer firm, I got to agree with her. But I can't deny that there are some local bosses who are very nice too.

No worries, I am still a Singaporean. True Singaporean? Keep it to myself.

The main objective of this entry was to let myself feel better. To let out what I really feel after another challenge I faced today to get closer to my dream. I think I am not fated or perhaps something better is awaiting for me? Whatever the outcome is, I know at least I tried and did my best and if things doesn't happen, HE knows what's best for me.

In fact, I won't be shocked that if I were to be given the opportunity later, I decided to kick the offer away because at that moment I had to do so.

Ultimately, nobody knows the future than HE knows. So stay positive and redha Aishah!